When Grief hits Hard
Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash
Unexpected or expected loss, it doesn't matter, it still hurts the same! None of us are exempt from suffering the loss of a loved one or pet, we all must face it at some time in our lives.
Last week, it hit me hard. First, on Sunday night my beloved 15-year-old kitty companion started having difficulty breathing. I knew the prognosis would not be good, and I knew she was suffering. I knew the inevitable would mean she would need to be put to sleep to end her suffering as the chances of her recovering at her age were very slim.
Add to the fact that she became a vicious lion when taken to a Vet, I knew what that night was about to unfold. I toiled over whether or not to have an in-home Euthanasia company come and escort her to heaven or to try our luck at the Vet to see if she could be saved. I opted to try and save her which ended up putting so much stress on her and worsening her condition. (Next time I will choose the in-home method! Less trauma for them).
The Vet was kind but her hatred of Vets unleashed a roaring lion making it very difficult for them to assess her and causing her great pain and trauma. Listening to her hiss and growl only furthered the pain in my heart as I knew what the outcome was most likely to be. When the Vet came in and told us it was best to put her to sleep at her age, my heart ripped out of my chest, despite my knowing it was best for her. I can barely write about this without it tearing my heart apart!
It is gut-wrenching when you hold the power of life and death in your hands! I can only imagine how God's heart must break when He calls His loved ones home, knowing those left behind will grieve immensely. Still, there is a time when we all will hear the call of our Beloved Savior to come home with Him!
I was just getting over my deep grief with Miley my kitty when news came Tuesday morning that my ex-father-in-law had passed away suddenly that morning! Although I am no longer officially a part of the family, my heart still is, and grief for Marlin's passing hit me hard. I grieved for my kids who would miss their beloved Grandpa and for my ex and his siblings who were suffering a great loss for them.
Sadly, we can't pick and choose when someone is called home. Psalm 139:16 says "Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."
Though we were all surprised by his untimely passing, God was not. He knew that was Marlin's appointed homecoming! What a glorious one at that! Marlin is now healed from his pain and can freely do the things his body was ailing him here!
Psalm 116:15 tells us "Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his faithful servants." He doesn't take it for granted the pain those left behind will feel. He knows, the cost of death, He paid it in full for all of us when He died on the cross! Though our hearts weep at the loss and we suffer the agony of missing our beloved one, we can rest assured that they are in a much better place and one day we will see them again!
So how do we handle these unexpected moments that send us into a tailspin of grief?
- First of all, give yourself permission to mourn and grieve. Don't hold it in, let it go and let those tears flow. God catches every one of them (Psalms 56:8), they are precious to Him. He feels your pain and He will help you heal.
- Talk to others, it is so good and healing to share your grief with others. It helps to process the pain. My ex's family had an intimate ceremony where they shared memories and photos of our beloved Grandpa and healing and peace were found. Make sure you find someone you know you can trust your pain with! Talk to God about it as well, He will comfort you and give you peace beyond all understanding!
- Remember - pray with thanksgiving and remember the good times you were given to your loved ones. Remind yourself how faithful God has been to get you through grief in the past and crawl up in His lap through the reading of His Word or listening to that favorite Worship song that brings peace to your weary soul.
- Don't be afraid to set aside all distractions so you can truly grieve. For me, that meant missing a week of blogging, but it was what my heart needed to process the loss of two loved ones in my life. Although I miss them both dearly and tears are still fresh and come when least expected. I know they both are with Jesus, Marling happily fishing with Jesus, and Miley being carried and loved on by some little girl! One day we will see them all and yes, I do believe animals are in heaven, after all - Jesus is coming back on a white horse!
Grieve well when it comes, crawl up in Papa God's lap, and cry - He will wipe away your tears and give you such peace you cannot explain it! It's okay to cry and mourn so let it go and let God heal your wounded heart as only He can do!